Not yet

Hey. I was really tired yesterday and didn't write. Sorry to get your hopes up that I might be giving birth. I didn't.

I had an ultrasound this week. My big belly still has a baby in it, and that baby is still a boy. Whew, one thing I don't have to worry about anymore is backup girl names. =). I have enough amniotic fluid for him too. He is looking strong and healthy. NO, I did not find out his "weight" or size or anything. (They are notoriously bad a predicting that - plus I want to imagine him as a little earth worm as he glides out of my body).

Yesterday I had a non-stress test. Gumbo is really healthy, and really happy to hang out in there forever.

The good news is that I'm really good at being pregnant. With some hormone issues in the fam, and some hormone issues in my own body - I was afraid that I wouldn't get pregnant. I was afraid that I had a cancer or tumor in there. I had a biopsy in May - which may have opened my cervix enough to get a baby in there. (?). The biopsy was negative, and that was great news. I was worried that I wouldn't have enough hormone to maintain my pregnancy after we found out that I was preggo. The doc had me on progesterone for the first 3 months - just in case. I made it through those months successfully. The next 3 were a lot better. The three after that were ok, but the last month has been the hardest.

I don't mind waiting so much - its just tough for me cause I feel pressure to have the baby - but I have no control over it!!!!
I know that relatives and friends are well meaning when they call to ask "Where is the baby?", "When is he coming?" But I don't know, its hard enough for me to keep myself in line - in check and calm about when he is coming. ITs hard for me to answer that question day after day. They are excited and interested in what is going on. I've been in that spot before. I will never ask a preggo "When is the baby coming?" again. Now I know how it makes you feel. Especially in a day when TONS of people have artificial inductions and elective c-sections, there is so much pressure to just get the baby out. If he is in there, its cause he's not done doing whatever he is doing yet.

I'm not a procrastinator by nature, if there is a due date, I like to have things done before they are due - just so I can move on to other things. This baby is teaching me a different kind of patience. I will be waiting on him my whole life. I'll have to wait for him to go to sleep before I can take a bath, wait for him to wake up from his nap so I can go to the mall, wait for him to toddle around as I he learns to walk really slowly. I"ll have to wait for him to finish his dinner really, really slowly when he is a kid. I'll have to wait for him to finish practices, wait for him to come home at night when he is a teenager. I'll have to wait for him to figure things out on his own, to face hard decisions and hopefully make the right ones. I'll have to wait for him for my whole life. These weeks are just practice for what its like to love someone but not be in control of what happens to them.

After he is born we will have him for his entire life, so its fine to wait a little while longer to meet him and see his pretty face. Well, for sure, the last day I will be pregnant is MArch 11th, although I may be induced on March 10th. Those are the last dates that a doctor will induce me. I really hope it doesn't get that far, because an induction will have to happen in the hospital. =(

In the meantime, all of the possible old wives tales are being tried: sex, evening primrose oil, chinese food, hot foods, spicy foods, raspberry tea, nipple stimulation, breast pumping, cleaning, relaxing, resting, walking, hiking, dancing. Today I am trying castor oil, because I would rather try that than end up in the hospital. Yesterday I got my membranes stripped a little bit. The problem with all of these things is that none will work if your body isn't ready - and mine just hasn't been ready yet.

One thing that this pregnancy is definitely inspiring me to be is to not be obese. Its hard to get my shoes on now, its hard to reach the TP when I'm on the potty. It's hard to turn and to reach behind me. I can't imagine having these limitations and not having the baby in me. I'm excited about working out again when I've got my son. Tom and I are planning on doing a mini-triathlon in April. I did it last year, the goal is: to finish. Not a bad goal. its a little, bitty one. You swim for 10, bike for 30 and run for 20 minutes. You get points based on distance. Its done in a gym. Its not a bad way to motivate you to work out. The day I found out I was pregnant, I ran a 5K on the treadmill. I was practicing for a sprint triathlon. I hope I can get up to 5K ability soon and really do my sprint triathlon this time! =) I'm not sure how exercise interferes with breast feeding, so I'll have to make sure I will be ok.

I was going to post a video today, but my camera is not working for some reason, so you will have to just go to youtube and watch something else...

It snowed this week, its pretty.

Love, Veronica.